14 Secrets to Better Relationships by Dave Earley

Author:Dave Earley [Earley, Dave]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-60742-720-9
Publisher: Barbour Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2012-05-05T16:00:00+00:00

Come Out of Hiding

We have discussed confessing sins as the path to intimacy, but the life of honesty goes beyond exposure of sin to disclosure of ourselves. In order to experience close and full relationships with God and others, we must live open, authentic lives. We must regularly and ruthlessly expose and admit our sins and disclose our scars, secrets, and struggles.

We all need the healing that comes from disclosing our scars.

As a teenager, I had a battle with lust and pornography. At various points, I was so discouraged that I wanted to give up on my Christian life. But one day, I gathered the courage to share with a few trusted friends that I had been exposed to pornography as a seven-year-old boy. I was hoping that they would not reject me or disrespect me. They didn’t. They prayed for me and shared their own scars. Deep healing and closeness resulted.

We all need a few trusted friends with whom we can disclose our secrets.

I was talking with a close friend recently. We have known each other several years and have become close through honesty and openness. He told me that I am one of very few people on earth that he trusts completely. Then I asked him a very specific question about his past. He gulped and replied, “I have never told anyone this before, but …” and he proceeded to tell me his deepest, darkest secret.

We all need the relief that comes from sharing our struggles.

One night at our small group Bible study, I was paired up to pray with my neighbor. He’s a great guy and seemed to have it all together, without a care in the world. This was the third or fourth time he and I had been paired up, and usually his prayer requests centered on his children—never anything about himself. But this time I guess he was feeling a level of trust with me. He dropped his head, rubbed his forehead, and sighed deeply. “I still can’t find a job,” he said, “and it’s killing me.” Just the simple act of telling me his struggle seemed to lighten his load immensely and gave us the beginnings of a deeper friendship.

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